Three Share a Bedroom · Dec 17, 10:30 AM

When I was younger I wanted to be a model. My favorite things to do were read books, write, skateboard, and exercise. And, I loved the clothes models wore so much more than what I wore. What could be a better job? I’d be able to support myself and still do all the things I loved to do. I was scared and embarrassed of this dream though, so I never told anyone about it or pursued it. Plus, I didn’t know anyone who was a model and had no idea how to get into that business.

When I was living in Los Angeles I was still thinking about how to make some cash so I could still do what I loved to do. I talked to my friend Phil Balance who I knew had gotten paid pretty well to be in a photo shoot for Penthouse. He was fully clothed, holding a saxophone, with a bunch of girls around him. I thought, “I could do that.” When I asked him if he could hook me up he told me that he couldn’t do it for photos, but asked if I wanted to be in a film. Just before this, another friend, Brian, was telling me about a job he had working for a porn company. His job, among others, was telling each guy who came in wanting to be in a movie to take his pants off and get an erection while he photographed the guy’s penis. In over a year Brian worked there, not one guy could get hard. That image of Brian with a camera, and a few others, deterred me from following through on Phil Balance’s offer.

My brother is an actor so I asked him if I could meet with his commercial agent because I figured if I could do one Twix commercial I’d be set and I could keep reading, writing, and taking walks and riding the bus around Hollywood. This idea is part of the explanation for this photo. I’d given up the idea of being a model and was resigned to wearing broke gear for the rest of my life. Courtney and Wendy at Diverse said they’d represent me and gave me some photographer’s phone numbers to get head shots taken. I picked one, my brother drove me to the guy’s house, we met with him and he seemed fine so I went back alone a couple days later. I had money for him to shoot one roll of film. All the photos are of me looking like a little kid, wearing a striped sweater and orange gym shoes. The last one on the roll is this photo. He told me I looked like I was in pretty good shape and that I should take off my shirt for one photo. My brother Joe and I would run everyday and we’d put two one-gallon jugs of water in plastic bags and do curls, so I was in fine enough shape not to mind taking my shirt off. Thinking about it now, of course the guy just wanted to see a boy with his shirt off, but I gotta give it to him, he fooled me.

I had some auditions but didn’t book any commercials and I was getting restless because I had gotten it in my head that I wanted to move to New York City and become a literary agent. Going on auditions was fun though, because I’d get to talk to a lot of people my own age. I didn’t have a car and I had gotten into an accident with my brother’s new Jetta, totaling it, so I had to take the bus to an audition that was way down Olympia. Taking two buses from Hollywood took almost 90 minutes and as soon as I got there I knew I’d be late for my shift that night, delivering room service at a hotel, which began in less than two hours. When I finished the audition I asked the casting director if he’d give me a ride home when he was done working. He laughed and told me to open the door and yell out, “Would someone give me a ride home?” and where I needed to go. People weren’t just auditioning for one thing; there were tons of people there, moms, girls, guys, and I figured I had a pretty good chance of getting a ride with all these people in the room. When I yelled out my request, people were confused. I could see it on their faces. Then I heard a kid say, “Albin?” It was Shawn who I had gone to high school with in Chicago. Awesome. I waited for him to have his go with the casting director and then he drove me straight to work. I was early. Shawn had become a model and he showed me his book as we drove. I was impressed with all the ads and photo shoots he’d done, but even more impressed that he drove me way out of his way.

Now, I want to be a writer. I don’t need looks. I don’t need a car. But there’s obviously something I need that I don’t have. I’ll keep looking for the door to open to ask for a ride.

— Albin

Comment

1. Olympic. what was the audition for?

   — joey s · Dec 19, 03:01 PM · #

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