Lindsey Lohan, St. John's, Heavy D... · Nov 27, 05:34 PM

Woke up in Brooklyn, just off of DeKalb Ave. Guzzled a ton of water, laid back down and heard that someone got stabbed to death at the club Duvet last night. Caught a ride over the Manhattan Bridge, went back to my apartment, where I laid in bed for an hour and listened to Brian Lehrer talk to an expert on etiquette, a guy who wrote the book “Good Calorie, Bad Calorie,” and a woman who wrote a book on the beginnings of language. I had an eye exam at 12:40 pm, but when I got to Lens Crafters I didn’t feel comfortable with the woman who was going to check my eyes so I walked out when no one was looking.

I gotta get out of downtown!

Took the 1 train to 86th and walked over to Barney Greengrass to see Brueger. My stomach was big from Thanksgiving so I ordered coffee, O.J., eggs with horseradish cheddar cheese, a side of lox, an everything bagel and pickled tomatoes. Greengrass is always worth a trip uptown. I turned today into a vacation. Next up, a walk though Central Park. It was chilly but the sun found me and I took a minute to close my eyes and lift my head up towards the sun. I saw red figures, that looked like they were made of felt, moving around me. With no agenda, I let my feelings move me, taking me through the Literary Walk and finally out of the park on the East side.

I figured there’d be a bunch of people shopping so I walked towards the stores on Fifth Ave. Across the street from my old office at ICM on 57th Street I saw a bunch of people with cameras waiting outside a store. I didn’t ask questions and I was on vacation so I just hung out. Lohan walked out of the spot and man, the camera guys were so aggressive. Being a paparazzi has to be one of the worst jobs.

Slightly confused, I walked into Prada and put my hands into some fur lined gloves, looked at shoes at Gucci and overheard the least believable conversations. Then I walked into St. Johns. St. Johns rules. A little Chinese girl came up to me and said, “Hello.” I asked her if there were any good places to hide in the store. Then told her she should turn a fur coat inside out, put it on, and hide there. That’s what I’d do. This woman Nora came up to me to see if I needed help. I introduced myself and she offered me a drink. I sipped some Perrier and stood around, enjoying the clothes; they’re really costumey. My favorite thing was a blue leather jacket with denim around the cuffs and collar. Lots of stuff I could only imagine seeing on a 60 year old woman on a cruise ship. I imagined I met a girl my age wearing St. Johns gear. Her name was Harriett. I finished my water and said, “Bye” to Nora.

Crowds were thick, lots of shopping bags. I kept on the Saint track and walked into St. Patrick’s Cathedral, walked by the tree at Rockefeller Plaza, then headed back downtown.

I had gotten a call earlier in the day—the dogs needed a walk this evening. I picked up the keys from the full time dog walker, went to the house and I was just going to walk ‘em and feed ‘em and pet ‘em but I saw an opened copy of Inland Empire. I watched it. I recommend watching it. It’s great but if you’re scared about anything, or if you are sad, are having trouble being alone or think everything in the world should be peachy, you will get scared. After the movie I walked to the deli and before I cold buy a juice this fat, shaved headed super rowdy dude comes in with blood dripping from his head. He’s yelling that he needs a band aid. I loved it—the guy who worked at the deli tried to make him pay for the band aid and the guy kept screaming at him, calling him a faggot and a bitch. He said he was a Marine and that he was going to kill the guy working the register. This dude was wasted and I had just watched Inland Empire, so I set my juice down and ran out of the store. It was too much. Get me out of Greenwich Village.

I was on my way home when I got a call from my friend whose sister was in town. We met up and got dinner at Lupa. Great meal and awesome people to have a meal with. It was still sort of early but I didn’t want to be out anymore so I came home and watched Nirvana Unplugged and guzzled some water and wrote down some of my day.

The only thing I can listen to now is 103.5 FM, New York’s dance mix, and Heavy D., “Now that we Found Love,” is playing. This song is great and I imagine, In Living Color and Cross Colors and the Tim Hardaway Nike Air Raids.

When I was living in Richmond, I used to walk up and down Broad Street, downtown, when I was supposed to be in the office. I am allergic to the office though so I’d duck out and get some fresh air a few times a day. There were a couple barbershops on each block. Some with guys playing chess outside, some with people just flexin’, but there was one I really liked, and only one guy would stand outside. His name was Ben. Ben was one of the most stylin’ guys I’ve seen to date. If I rock white jeans there’s always a little stain somewhere. Ben would wear white pants and a black mock turtleneck sweater with an inch thick gold chain, everything was clean.
Plus, I have to mix in some browns and other earth tones into my outfit. Ben could pull off the rowdiest color combinations. Red slacks, a purple mock turtleneck and that gold chain worked perfectly. I would hang out at his barbershop a few days a week. Sometimes I’d walk by and he’d be working and those times I’d usually walk a little further to Rite Aid and read magazines and buy a pack of gum.
One day Ben and I were talking about music. He went on to tell me that he was from Manhattan and that he used to cut Heavy D’s and Pastor Troy’s hair. Damnnnn.
Ben ruled. He always talked about his wife and kids, growing up in New York, and why he moved to Richmond. I never got a hair cut in Richmond because I was living on $85 per month and that went to beers and Black and Milds but I spent as much time as anyone at the barbershop.

A year later I was living a totally different life in Hollywood and I got invited to come to the filming of an episode of the Tracey Morgan Show. Snoop Dogg and Biz Markie were on the show but I didn’t meet them. I talked to Bishop Don Magic Juan though. We talked about Chicago. Heavy D was on the show too; he wasn’t a guest star though; he was a regular.

I used to be really intimidated around actors and directors because everyone was so outgoing and knew so much about an industry that was still foreign to me. I’d seen so few movies at this point. I didn’t watch television and I never knew what people were talking about so I’d never roll up to an actor and introduce myself but I saw Heavy D as a musician and I’ve always listened to tons of music. He was hanging out by himself and I said, “Hello.” He asked me if I was an actor and encouraged me to get into acting because he was having so much fun doing it. I told him I had just moved to Los Angeles from Richmond and that I knew his old barber. He looked at me and goes, “Ben!?” He was so hyped and he told me that Ben had cut his hair from age 4 to 12. He smiled and told stories and then stopped mid-sentence and was like, “How you know Ben?” I told him and he kept smiling and talking about Ben.

The holidays make me think of my old barber, Mike. I went to the same barber since I was a tiny kid, until my parents sold their place in Chicago (they move back in a few weeks though!). First it was Angelo but he retired when I was eight. Then Mike came through. He and his brother were state champion wrestlers from the NW side of Chi-town. Details will comprise a novel but Mike, his brother Rick, and George made up the shop. George was a pretty handsome, white haired older guy who I’d let cut my hair but I was always bummed that I didn’t get to have Mike cut it because I liked to talk to Mike more.

George (R.I.P.) would talk about fucking whores and things I couldn’t understand as a 10 to 13 year old. Mike though listened to whatever I had to say and could relate some story form his life. We talked about the Cubs, girls, my dad (this guy thought my dad was the most amazing person in the world, so of course I liked that, but didn’t understand it when I was 10). I got girl advice from Mike and one thing he told me when I was probably 12 was to “Always think with your big head before your little head.” Good advice for all ages.

Around the holidays they’d have a tray of whiskeys and pony rolling rocks and old styles in the back fridge, and someone’s wife would have made cookies or a cake. I remember having a tiny sipper of J&B and a rolling rock one day. That was a one time thing and I don’t remember if I was there alone or if anyone was with me but I remember these guys only letting me have a tiny one. Life happens at the barber shop. This wasn’t a Dominican barbershop where kids were there twice a week but we went every two to three weeks to stay sharp.

I haven’t had a regular doctor since Dr. Marks died when I was 12, and I haven’t had a regular barber since I was 19. I miss my barber more. Dr. Marks is another story though. He charged $5 per check up and kept all his records in pencil. Merry Christmas and fond wishes to the unsuspecting people you’ll never forget.

Right Said Fred “I’m Too Sex” just came on. I’m just going to sit here and wish for some Ace of Base.

— Albin

Comment

1. ECH

   — · Nov 27, 06:45 PM · #

2. I postponed working to read another rad story.

   — tom · Nov 28, 05:24 PM · #

3. i met you @ the xmas party on w. 42nd st last friday, checked out your young philosopher site… it’s so dope!! i enjoyed reading your blog as well. kudos!

   — amanda · Dec 9, 03:03 PM · #

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